Giving up.

So the other day I’m having a conversation with a really good friend saying how much I miss reading, I miss reading books that make you think all day, make you wish you could just get home to read another chapter. I spent most of the conversation wishing I had more time to read, more time to just be, more time to think. I wish I was able to just spend time in God’s word, not reading it just for quiet times in the morning, but getting deeper in it because I hunger and thirst for it.

As I walked away, I pondered; why I didn’t have as much time, why I didn’t have the same inclination to read as I always had done. I used to love nothing more than getting home and reading – I would read all evening, and well into the night.

And that’s when it hit me, I didn’t sit down anymore to read, I’d spend the time looking at my phone or tablet checking Facebook and Twitter. And it’s not like I was really taking in that much information or finding it that interesting – I just do it out of habit. It’s not a bad habit particularly, but it’s a habit that steals my time.

It steals my time from God.

It steals my time from Life.

It steals my time from me.

I’m not generally one for giving up things for Lent, but this year it’s different. I have decided this year for Lent I will be giving up Social Media. It’s not going to be easy, and there are going to be times where I fail, or come close to failing, but if I can claim back even a fraction of the time Social Media takes up, well then it will have been worth it.

A few years ago I was away on a youth weekend away and I was having a conversation with some girls about how they don’t have time to read the Bible. When I challenged them about what was taking up their time they quoted things like coursework, parents, boyfriends. So I posed them a question – “How much time do you spend on Facebook?” According to them, they reckoned about 18 hours a week…. So my answer was “I think we’ve discovered what’s stealing your focus”!

And after having given the advice back then, my own advice has found its way back to me.

In Hebrews 12 it says about throwing off everything that hinders, everything that steals our focus, everything that steals our time from the race that God has set before us.

So, for the next 40 days I’m ‘throwing off’ Social Media.

I’m giving up.

I’m giving in.

My challenge to you is what is it that you need to throw off to be unhindered in your hunger for God?

What’s stealing your focus from the one who made you…… and what will you do about it?

See you in 40 days.

Birthday.

So today (yes I have noted the change of the title) is my birthday! And because I’m the person I am, I love birthdays! Today is my 31^st, and I’m just as excited about this one as I was my 21^st, my 18^th, 16^th…well you get the idea! I have been blessed today with so many cards and messages wishing me a happy day and love – which  if I’m honest, it has overwhelmed me slightly.

God has blessed me in abundance over the 31 years –in the 16 years before I knew him personally and the following 15. It’s not always been plain sailing, and the walk has not always been easy – but God has always bought me through, resulting in me having stronger faith, yet allowing myself to be weaker and more reliant on Him.

So, today, I’m going to share some of the stuff that I’ve learnt along the way. It’s not rocket science, and it’s certainly not ground breaking stuff, but it’s the kind of stuff, that if people had shared with me before, maybe the journey would have been a bit easier.

When I decided at the age of 16 that I wanted to become a follower of Jesus, I was mistaken in assuming that this was going to be bit like rubbing a lamp, and a genie making my wishes come true and my life would be sorted from then on. Following Jesus is not like that. It never has been. And it never will be. And, with hindsight, actually, I think I’m glad. I wish someone had said to me that, yes choosing Him is the best thing I will ever do, and that it will be a non-stop adventure – BUT it is not going to solve my problems overnight – that’s just not who Jesus is – I’m not saying He couldn’t – I’m just saying He doesn’t – not in my experience anyway.

So, why am I glad that it’s not an easy ride?

Because…

Without the tough stuff, there is no way that I would have discovered that God’s plan is better and bigger than I could ever imagine.

I have been guilty of limiting God, and trying to fit him into my plan, which when I realise that’s not God wants or had intended for me hurts and yes, I have been known to even have a little tantrum… however, once I stopped, and listened to God, gave in, and let go… God stepped in and blew me away with how much more amazing and fulfilling HIS plans for me are. He is God of the immeasurably more.

Because…

Without the tough stuff, I would not have the passion I have, and I certainly wouldn’t be the person I now am.

There has been stuff that’s happened that yes affected me greatly, yes that I wish hadn’t and yes that at moments I have questioned where was God in them. Yet, having spent time with a friend dealing with these, finding the strength through God to forgive people involved, myself and God in a sense. I found that firstly I didn’t have to be perfect – because God is. I discovered that I don’t have to be strong all the time, because God is. God made it plain that I don’t have to have it all together, because He does.

But I suppose the biggest challenge I’ve faced and have come to realise over the years of me journeying with God, is that first and foremost I am a child of His. Every day I am reminded that He is bigger than me, He is stronger than me, and He loves me greatly. I am insignificant, and He is awesome. Yet, He loves me, because He loves me, because He loves me.

He will never love me because of the stuff I’ve done – or not done. He will never love me because of the things I can do for him. He loves me because I am a child of His, created by Him, for Him and in His image. That’s it. Full stop.

So when you’re next talking to someone about becoming a follower of Jesus, tell them the amazing stuff, but make sure you tell them about counting the cost – it will not be the easiest journey they have ever been on, and there will be times when you feel like you are journeying through the desert – BUT it is the most adventurous, rewarding, fulfilling, exciteing, passionate journey ever. And above all it’s worth it.

Don’t wait 31 years to figure this out –

Do it today.

Happy Birthday me.

Transformed.

So the other day I’m having a conversation with someone about how sometimes the things that we least expect, are the things that shape our faith and our journey with God. Stuff like a quote from a movie that seemingly has nothing to do with being a Christian.

Such a thing happens to me every time I watch the Transformers movies. How random I hear you cry! How can a movie about robots from outer space who pretty much destroy everything around them, having pretty much the same fight in each of the movies have anything to say?

Yeah, you could argue with me about the fact that they’ve not done justice to the amazing plastic toys from the 80’s, and the CGI could be better in places, and I don’t care that the way they turn from robots into cars and back again wouldn’t work that way – but you know I don’t really care. For me the stories are amazing, stories of love, loyalty, friendship and sacrifice – story lines that touch us to the core, that speak to the stuff God places at the heart of all of us.

But, as easy as it would be to get lost in these moments, one quote always makes me do a fist punch in the air (yep even in the cinema much to my husband’s embarrassment) – Sam and the new found love of his life (Mikaela) find themselves having to run for safety, when a car pulls up telling them to get inside. Mikaela – understandably – is less that keen – when Sam looks her in the eye and says:

“50 years from now, when you’re looking back at your life, don’t you want to say that you had the guts to get in the car?”

I LOVE IT! He wants to look back on his life and know that he lived with NO regrets.

I don’t know about you, but I want to be able to say that same, not about getting in a car that turns into a robot, that’s never going to happen, but that I look back at my journey in faith, my adventure with God and know that I don’t have any regrets!

Personally, I believe that I follow a saviour who never said it was going to be easy, he didn’t even say that it would be a laugh a minute stroll in the park, however, he did say that it would be worth it –it’s the way to freedom (Luke 4:18) and a full life (John 10:10). But I want to know that I had the guts to follow Him - wherever. No questions asked.

In The Guardian yesterday, a palliative care nurse was writing about the top 5 regrets of her patients who are dying. They are:

1.    I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

2.  I wish I hadn't worked so hard.

3.  I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

4.  I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

5.  I wish that I had let myself be happier

When people are forced to look at their life, how many people look back and wish they’d ‘got in the car’?

50 years from now, when I look back at my life, I want to be able to say that I stepped out in faith, I took the chance, I counted the cost and took the leap. I want to look back and know that I lived life to the full, in the sense that Jesus meant it, I want to be able to look people in the eye and say that I live a life with no regrets. Transformed.

Father, may your will be done.